A means of liberation

I was initially introduced to Capoeira a few years back in Chicago. My roommate BJ took classes at Gingarte Capoiera. I was just getting into spinning poi, and had seen videos of this guy, Zan, who does these crazy kicks and flips during while spinning. It reminded me of the Capoeira BJ did, and I began thinking of all the ways I could improve my poi. Capoeira seemed like it would really help. But I was busy with a million other things and it remained just a thought in my head.

Then I moved to Seattle and started working at Wasabi. Here Capoeira came up again. This time, in the form of a co-worker, Ninona. I told her I had always been interested, and she encouraged me to come. But it wasn't until almost a year later when a I was at a BBQ at her house and got to watch them play Capoiera in a roda (meaning circle, pronounced "hoe-da"). I was instantly captivated by the things they could do with their bodies. The flips and handstands and kicks and twirls and I don't even know what. The closest thing I could compare it to was break dancing, which indeed grew out of Capoeira.

At work the following week, I mentioned again to Ninona how interested I was. We made plans to go to class together that Wednesday night. It was intense and slightly intimidating, but really good. It was a big class that night, almost 20 people. We worked our bodies HARD. I tried to keep up but spent much of the class feeling slow, awkward, and slightly confused. But I tried.

My entire body was sore for days afterward. I realized what a great workout it was, and decided that Capoeira would be how I would get my body toned and in shape. I had already lost a lot of weight over the past year as I learned more and more about nutrition and how to have a balanced plant-based diet. Now my goal is to get in the best shape of my life. I want to push my body, be able to scale a vertical rock face and summit mountains and ride my bike 200+ miles. I realized that Capoeira could help me reach this goal.

I managed to go to another class the following week, a morning class. This one was much less intimidating, only 5 students. I got much more personalized attention and picked up on some moves faster. Very slow still, but faster than my first class.

I began to realize that there was something more important happening here. That I was recognizing personal barriers that I had set up for myself, such as being intimidated by performing in front of large groups of people, and of doing something in public I don't have a lot of confidence in. Every time I try something new, and in front of everyone no less, I feel these walls being chipped away at. I hope that eventually I will chip it enough that one day, the wall will crack spider web style and just fall away. And I will be free. Free to not be afraid anymore. Afraid of looking silly, like I don't know what I'm doing, afraid of what people will think, afraid I'm doing it wrong, afraid of so many little insignificant things.

The best advice I've gotten in Capoiera so far was from a fellow student, Michael. A tall and heavily muscled man with smooth dark skin and a playful demeanor, he and others had to practically push me into the roda to play. He smiled as they did so, saying, "No fear, no fear." It wasn't until a day later that I began thinking of the significance of that comment. And how right he was. Have no fear. Don't be afraid of what the others in the roda are thinking, don't be afraid of doing something "wrong" or badly. Everyone in this community is supportive and encouraging and want to see me succeed. Having my friend Jessi in class today helped me to see what I was like in my last class, hesitant to try the things I learned during that days class. Hesitant to try them in front of everyone, in a quick-thinking-on-your-feet situation. Sometimes I feel like I forget everything I learned the second I step in the roda and make eye contact with the person I'm playing with. But today was a bit easier. I can feel the walls beginning to crumble.

I want to learn more, and so I went on Mestre Curisco's website and read about "The Art of Capoiera." It was very interesting, but what inspired this post was the following line, which as soon as I read I knew that it was the reason I was led to Capoeira in the first place: "Today, Capoeira is practiced on every continent and continues to gain recognition as a means of liberation from the barriers people impose on themselves."

I will be participating in the Batizado this year. I want to be "baptized" into this community, receive a belt and meet other Capoeiristas, especially new ones. I want to remind myself that it's okay to be new at something. It's okay to try new things in a public setting. That no one is going to laugh at me. Unless I am laughing with them :)